Buying a home with someone else is a big emotional step as well as a big financial one. And when money and emotions mix, small misunderstandings grow quickly. Clarity at the start keeps things solid.
This guide walks through the key things to talk about before you buy together, so you can make decisions with your eyes open.
(This is general guidance, not personalised financial advice. What’s right for you depends on your own circumstances.)
Start with the honest money chat
Before you look at properties, mortgage rates or lenders, focus on each other. You both need a clear picture of what you’re bringing into this and what you’re committing to.
Talk about:
- Your incomes and how stable they are
- Any debts (student loans, credit cards, car finance)
- Savings (how much, and what they’re currently for)
- Your credit history (especially if one of you has had issues in the past)
Differences are normal. One person often earns more or has more savings. What matters is that nothing is hidden when you apply for a mortgage.
Be clear on how you’ll own the property
This is one of the most important decisions you’ll make, and one many people rush. There are two main ways to own a property together:
Joint tenants
- You both own the whole property equally
- If one of you dies, the property automatically goes to the other
- You cannot pass your share on in a will
This is common for couples who see everything as shared.
Tenants in common
- You each own a defined share of the property
- Shares can be equal or different
- You can leave your share to someone else in your will
This is often used when:
- One person puts in a larger deposit
- You want clearer protection if things change
There’s no right answer. It’s just important to understand which is the best fit for you. A solicitor can help you formalise this properly.
Decide how you’ll split the costs
Buying together involves more than the deposit. You’ll also need to agree how you’ll handle:
- Mortgage payments
- Household bills
- Repairs and maintenance
- Unexpected costs
Some people split everything 50 50 while others split based on income. What matters most is that it feels fair to both of you and is sustainable long term. If one of you would struggle if costs went up, that’s worth factoring in now, not later.
Talk about the “what ifs”
No one likes this bit, but it’s the bit that causes the most problems if you skip it.
You should talk through:
- What happens if one of you wants to sell
- What happens if one of you can’t pay their share
- What happens if you break up
- What happens if one of you dies
These conversations don’t predict the future, but they give you a plan if things change.
Many people choose to put a declaration of trust or cohabitation agreement in place to document what you’ve agreed. Think of it as a safety net in case the worst happens.
Understand how a joint mortgage works
When you take out a mortgage together, you’re both responsible for the full amount.
That means:
- If one person stops paying, the lender still expects the full payment
- Missed payments affect both credit records
- Selling or changing the mortgage usually needs both of you to agree
This is why trust and communication matter so much with joint mortgages. It’s also why it’s worth getting advice before you commit.
A simple pre-buy checklist
Here’s a quick sense check before you move forward.
✅ You both understand each other’s finances
✅ You’ve agreed how you’ll own the property
✅ You’ve agreed how you’ll split ongoing costs
✅ You’ve talked about what happens if things change
✅ You understand the responsibility of a joint mortgage
If any of these feel unclear, pause and talk them through.
Want some support?
Buying together can feel overwhelming, especially when emotions and money overlap. Our mortgage experts can help you:
- Understand what you can afford together
- Talk through ownership options
- Sense-check your plans before you commit
You can also book a free Starter Session with an Octopus Money coach to talk things through and get clearer on your next steps.
